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Sunday, September 26, 2004
blah.
ha ha, im not going to homecoming. and no one can make me. I would go, but there ones minor detail. you have to dress up. fuck that. When ever i wear something different, or try to dress nicer than usual, people start freaking out and shyt sand making a big fucking deal. Like when kelly wore a tank top. And another detail to homecoming. I dont have a date and i never will. Jake wouldnt want to go with me anyway. He doesnt like me anymore. Oh wel. another possible relationship fucked up by my friends again. If lizzy had just left us alone when he pretty much hinted that he wanted "someone" to go up with him to get bugspray, that would have been just dandy, Becuase cassie said that he was going to ask me out or something. Anyway.. So fuck homecoming cause its just retarded. I want to listen ot my cd player but its in the car. i need to get it.
Jake might be comeing to the dance at our school around halloween... in someways i dont want him to go. I have the strongest feeling that laura and chelsea are going to hit on him, and it wouldnt surprise me if they did. I never get to hang out with him, and this would be like my only chace to. and itsgunna suck majorly if people hit on him.
Posted at 06:05 pm by Cauterize
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Tuesday, September 07, 2004
Coors light is good....
Posted at 06:21 pm by Cauterize
Tuesday, August 31, 2004
sigh. everyone has a guy for themselves, or pretty much claimed for themselves. I wish i had a guy that none of my friends like and just me. I guess that'll never happen, cause whenever i like someone, one of my friends always likes them too. there are some new guys coming in this year, and ive claimed the one that lives on lost lake. hopefully hes cool.. and as as tall, or taller than me, cause thats always a plus.. I doubt im gunna get him though, hopefully maybe one of my friendss wont like him like him :-(
a brand new skool year is coming. maybe this year will be one to remember. please let it be. im getting tired of crappy years
ive just been really manic depressive latly. i kinda know why too. its cause of jake. He liked me and even admitted it, and then a week later he like went out with some other girl. its just kinda frustrating i guess.
i need to sleep
a.c.i.d
Posted at 10:43 pm by Cauterize
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Saturday, August 21, 2004
I hate get-togethers. Especially when guys are there. No one acts themselves and its wicked annoying. People like get dressed up and makeup and stuff and its like wtf are you doing?
And then people start getting mad at each other cause someone likes the person they like. Actually, I dunno why I’m complaining about this cause I know how much it feels awful. Actually, its happened to me 4 fucking times. And it always the people that can get every fucking guy they want. And then you just wanna fucking die becuiase of it, after this has happened to you so many times. You start wonder if people even care about you becuase they do that to you. Why do people always ruin everything for me? Im always about to go out with someone, and then someone else ruins it.
Like when I was going to go out with Evan. But then I didn’t. I was very sad that day cause I had even had someone tell him that I liked him, and then that same person went and flirted with him all day. It was like a fucking stab in the back. Then Ian wanted to know why I was so sad that day, so he called me. Cause I wouldn’t tell him during school. And then he like wanted me and Evan to go out, So he went and called Evan, and asked if he would go out with me. The next day we had all gone to Fun World, and when everyone had gotten off the carosel, Ian told me to stay on… He told me that Evan said he would, but he was confused on what was going on with Laura. I just wanted to fucking scream. Then the day after I got back from maine this year, I went to cassie and Lizzy’s birthday party. I met this guy Jake there. He was kinda looking at me in the beginning, cause I wasn’t really talking to anyone cause I didn’t know a single person there. And then we just finally started talking. And then he had to leave suddenly cause his mom came early. So I never got his screen name or anything. But then about a week later, I get a random IM from some one. It was Jake! It was like wow… someone I like, actually likes me. But then, about three weeks later, and two days after he had given me his number, lizzy told me that he was in this fling with some other girl named Kelsey or whatever. I just wanted to cry. Why the fuck does this always happen to me? How come my friends always get guys, but not me? Why do I always get left out?
Posted at 12:53 pm by Cauterize
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Hey, don't write yourself off yet
It's only in your head you feel left out or
looked down on.
Just try your best, try everything you can.
And don't you worry what they tell themselves when you're away.
It just takes some time, little girl you're in the middle of the ride.
Everything (everything) will be just fine, everything (everything) will be alright (alright).
Hey, you know they're all the same.
You know you're doing better on your own, so don't buy in.
Live right now.
Yeah, just be yourself.
It doesn't matter if it's good enough for someone else.
It just takes some time, little girl you're in the middle of the ride.
Everything (everything) will be just fine, everything (everything) will be alright (alright).
It just takes some time, little girl you're in the middle of the ride.
Everything (everything) will be just fine, everything will be alright (alright).
Hey, don't write yourself off yet.
It's only in your head you feel left out or
looked down on.
Just do your best, do everything you can.
And don't you worry what the bitter hearts are gonna say.
It just takes some time, little girl you're in the middle of the ride.
Everything (everything) will be just fine, everything (everything) will be alright (alright).
It just takes some time, little girl you're in the middle of the ride.
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